Official Summer Tidings and Ramblings About the Northwest

I officially booked my trip to Chicago/Denver. After wanting to cancel and take an aeroplane instead, I realised the difficulty of that and decided to just stick with my original plan and head out to Chicago before getting to Denver. Booking my hostel was the last step, and now it’s all finished up. To those that I’ll be seeing in Denver, I’ll get to see you just as much with either plan, and I’ll be there from Thursday, the tenth, until the following Sunday or Monday. I’ve already forgotten which.

In other news, summer is going… all right, I suppose. I’ve been working a bit more than thirty hours per week at my summer job down on Main Street. It’s hot and sweaty work, but there’s a lot of it that I really enjoy. I wasn’t expecting to feel so stressed about it this summer as I am, but I’m attributing that to the increase in hours and the bizarre weather that we’ve been having. It’s far too hot for June. This weekend has been the first time in three weeks that it’s been even remotely nice outside. Sorry, but I’m so sick of constant 37 degree days over and over again. I need to be in the Northwest stat. I’m pretty sure that I’m far too Irish to put up with these extreme weathers from the Midwest. It’s just not suiting me any more.

It’s all that I can think about any more: how much I don’t belong here. I used to only get upset about the Midwest because of the lack of culture and things to see and do, but now I’m finding that it’s far more than that. Even aside from the fact that I am meant for cool and rainy weather (oh, hey Northwest), the personality of where I live just doesn’t fit me. It’s been difficult to explain this to my mother who doesn’t understand why I’d ever want to leave. This is, after all, the place where I have grown up. But I just can’t stay here any longer; it’s like trying to fit a puzzle piece where it doesn’t quite go. Sure, you can keep it there, and from a distant it won’t matter, but in the end, you know that piece doesn’t go there. That’s the best way that I can describe it.

I’ve started looking into grad schools, and I’m so sure that I want to go to the Northwest. Everyone asks me why. They tell me that it rains constantly there and that people are depressed. I tell them that there are book stores and coffee shops and interesting people there. I tell them that I avoid the sun like the plague to begin with, so this would finally allow me to live freely. I’ll keep searching in other locations, too, but I can’t deny that I’d like to spend some time there. At least for the five years of grad school. After that’s all finished up with, I can decide for sure what’s right for me. That, or I can take my doctoral degree and get the hell out to some place else; sometimes these things take experimentation.

I’m just a little torn between the fact that I want to go to the Northwest, yet a large university near my home town also offers the degree I want (family and marriage counselling at SLU). Everyone wants me to go to SLU.

Well, everyone except me, I suppose.

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A Year, 2010

Once again, I’ve nearly made it through an entire year.  As such (and to continue the tradition from last year), here are the accomplishments, triumphs, failures, and events that marked my past year.  Feel free to make your own to share!

• I made it through my first year of university at Truman, finishing off with a decent GPA and tons of friends to boot.
• Three and a half inch heels and four inch heels–I made them my bitch.
• I went on an aeroplane by  myself for the first time to visit my dad in Florida for two weeks, where I tried Sashimi for the first time (practically raw tuna with wasabi and pickled ginger), visited Key West and some other nifty beaches, and got massively sunburnt.
• If you caught that part about Sashimi, you’ve probably figured out that I became a pescetarian over the summer.  Half of my just didn’t care any more about avoiding fish while the other half just kept nagging about all of the great omega-3 oils and brain-helping nutrients.  This has allowed me to become pretty damn obsessed with sushi, by the way.
• I started a pretty shitty fashion blog about Midwest fashion.  Now that I have a new camera, I plan on taking more pictures for it, though.
• Which brings me to a creeper moment for this year: I definitely worked up the courage to ask random people to be models for my fashion blog since they were wearing cool outfits.  I’m actually pretty proud of myself for having the guts.
• For a failure, I definitely had a big falling out with someone who had been my friend, leaving us in some kind of acquaintance limbo.  And I’m not too proud about playing dirty and being really bitchy about it, but my life had gotten to a major point where I had to either step up or drop into obscurity, meek and silent as I get walked upon.  You all know I’m not really the type to allow the latter.
• I got a sewing machine!
• And I’ve sewed all kinds of really crappy things; mostly for work.
• Oh!  So, I got a volunteer job down on Main Street, Saint Charles at the First State Capitol State Historic Site in June.  I get to dress up in 1820s clothing, teach people history, give tours, work with kids, all kinds of fun stuff.  After a month and a half of volunteering, I managed to get a position with the Missouri State Youth Corps so that I could get paid for my volunteer work.  It’s been an absolutely amazing experience, and if all goes as planned, I will be working there next summer as well.
• Over October, my dog, Teddy, passed away after a year and a half of massive heart problems.  I had spent the entire summer preparing for him to pass away, which helped me when it actually did happen, but that doesn’t make it any less sad.  You probably already know that he meant a lot to me, but I don’t feel very burdened.  So that’s a start.
• My grandparents are still somehow making it.  My grandma was diagnosed with cancer last year, and she’s finally made the decision to quit treatment and just last these months out.  My grandpa, meanwhile, had a quadruple bypass that didn’t go as well as it could have, though he’s recovering now.
• The rest of the family is decently healthy (or at least in comparison to my grandparents), though there was a lot of tension when my brother was kicked out for his misconducts that he’d been warned for years to cease.  He now lives with my dad in Florida, which seems to be working out better for him.
• This past year, I’ve been building up a second family up in Kirksville (or at least it feels like that).  I signed the lease for a house for next school year with Jess and Noah, which is pretty damn exciting.  And we’re right next door to Ann, Ginny, and James, which means we’ll share a big side yard and have dinner parties.  Huzzah!
• This implies that I’m still friends with everyone up at uni, as well as some new folks.  I also finished up my first semester of sophomore year and started my new studio art minor.  It’s been really neat to see my artwork improve over the semester, and we’ll see how much better it gets by the end of next year.
• I went to Iowa for the first time.  No worries, it was as mundane as the sentence seems to convey.

New Music for this Year (or at least music I was exposed to this year):

• Kate Havnevik’s Melankton
• Emilíana Torrini’s Love in the Time of Science and Fisherman’s Woman
• Kingdom of Heaven Soundtrack
• Loreena McKennitt’s The Book of Secrets and The Visit
• ALL CAPS’ Bmin/E
• Amy MacDonald’s This is the Life
• Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs
• Broken Bells’ Broken Bells
• Coldplay’s Parachutes
• Florence + the Machine’s Lungs
• Fiona Apple’s Extraordinary Machine
• Imogen Heap’s Ellipse
• Joanna Newsom’s Have One on Me
• Joe Purdy’s This American
• Kate Miller-Heidke’s Curioser
• KT Tunstall’s Eye to the Telescope
• Modest Mouse’s Good News for People Who Love Bad News
• Natacha Atlas’s Halim
• Patrick O’Hearn’s Glaciation
• Sigur Ros’s Takk…
• Vampire Weekend’s Contra
• White Lies’ To Lose My Life
• Yael Naim’s Yael Naim

New Books:

• Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Science of Social Influence
• Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451
• Charles Dickens’s Great Expectations
• Dude, I can’t remember the last time I read a new book for pleasure.  Aside from text book reading, I’ve been chilling with the old favourites: Dan Brown’s Digital Fortress, Memoirs of a Geisha, Dragon’s Bait, et cetera.
• But, I’ve gotten into some web comics: Questionable Content and xkcd.

New Films:

• HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS
• Love and Death (a quirky Woody Allen film)
• Troy
• Darjeeling Limited
• The Losers

I really haven’t done all that much this year aside from lots of music listening (shit son, way more than I thought after making that list), working my butt off, chilling with friends every chance I get, and finding some new hobbies (such as interior design/décor, art art art art art, reading webcomics, et cetera).  I’ve learned to love libraries and sushi and appreciate some of the people around me a lot more.  I hope that you all have had an interesting year with lots of learning and events.  Hope to see you all next year!

Missi

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Heartstopper

Coffee’s pouring out my ears
it’s the only thing they have in here
and my heart stops beating…

And, so, I’m back home, sitting in bed and internetting, reading Harry Potter, and making extravagant trips around town–mostly to buy a pair of leather boots and get some sushi.  The norm for being back home.  I haven’t gotten to see any of my friends yet, and I can feel the tug of only having been by my family for three days straight; the lethargy and stress is setting in, and I should probably get out.  Which I will.  Don’t worry.  I’m seeing Harry Potter with friends this afternoon, and it should be wonderful.

I just want some rain and to be able to escape the house and to go frolic around on Main Street.  I also want to complete the two skirts I want to sew up over this break.  Two ankle-length full skirts that I can both wear during the winter and also for my job at the First State Capitol.  Come winter holidays, I’ll go back to work where I’ll be dressed up nearly every day.  I’ve realised over these past three months at school how much I’ve missed working there.  It was relaxing and yet always changing and interesting and educational and hilarious.  The people I was around are… great.  Funny.  And I find myself missing them.

It’s been getting cold lately (aside from today in Saint Charles where it’s already reached 23 degrees; sorry, that’s 74).  Kirksville cold is full of dry wind and pretty soon will also be full of ice and snow, but I’m looking forward to it.  I’m looking forward to when there are lights in the trees near the eternal flame (which, ironic to it’s name, is never lit) and that they can be so beautiful when they light up the night.  I’m looking forward to First Snow, a Missouri Hall tradition of celebrating the first real snow with hot chocolate and tea in the main lounge with all kinds of people.  It’s such a wonderful way to meet new people who have been around you all year without you ever knowing it.  Last year’s was wonderful; I just sat and drank up some tea for an hour in front of the two story windows, watching the snow come down, chatting with a group of people.  It’s kind of like the coffee-house/bar fiancé I’ve talked about before.

Though I haven’t mentioned it on here, have I?

The coffee-house/bar fiancé is the story of how I’m going to meet my future husband:  I’ve been dragged to a bar with my friends, and being the type who’s not into drinking and has become the designated driver, I’m mostly just sitting in the corner with a cup of tea, waiting for my friends to get sufficiently drunk before we head to the next bar.  And then, as I’m people watching, I notice a man across the room, in another corner, sipping at some coffee.  He’s dressed nicely, probably in his mid to late twenties, and looks like he might just be finishing up his master’s or doctoral degree is who knows what, and we lock eyes from across the room.  I go to sit down at his table and we start to chat, as he’s also been dragged to the bar by his friends.  Seven months later, we’re engaged.

By no means is this serious.  Please know that I am not desperately searching for this situation; though it is the humorous way that I tell people I want to meet someone.  And it’s mostly just the “we lock eyes from across the room” that makes me giggle every time.

I can’t take my life, or fake-future life, seriously at all.  There are always too many things to laugh about.

Another coffee it’s on the house
The poor-girl look is on the owner’s spouse
And my heart stopped beating.

–Heartstopper, Emiliana Torrini

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Don’t drink that, Samantha Brown!

I enjoy leaving the house for work.  And I enjoy dressing up in colonial clothing, crocheting, and teaching others about Missouri State history on Saturdays.  I enjoy when people try to give me tips after I give them a tour, even if it goes straight into the donations box.  I enjoy the look on people’s faces when they see that I’m a teenager wearing a shirt that says “Youth Corp”, and yet I’m more informed than they are on any given history subject.

I also enjoy that I am now paid for the work that I did as a volunteer and that I will be (possibly) rehired for winter and summer holidays.  Main Street treats me right.

Anyway…

I go back up to uni in two weeks, yet I haven’t even started packing.  Admittedly, there is not yet much of a need, but it tickles me that I was actually completely finished packing by this point last year.  But, as a returning student, I just don’t really give a shit.  I just want back.  It’s such a lovely escape from home.  Sure, I wish I could see some friends more often, but that’s life.

Life has been teaching me a few lessons lately, one of which happened when I was invited to visit with friends but had to sew an under dress for my outfit at work.  I’ll admit to crying at midnight, trying to convince myself that this was the real world and that I wouldn’t always get to be with everyone when I wanted.  It had never been a problem for me during high school when I slaved away with student council projects or school plays, but I was always with other people that I cared about.  When sitting in my room with a sewing machine and Maroon5 on repeat, it feels a little different–a feeling that I have not commonly felt as resident introvert.

Resident introvert in this corner feels nothing.

NOTHING.

She sits by herself and is completely content.

COMPLETELY CONTENT.

Her abilities to keep herself entertained by only reading and making up stories is phenomenal.

PHENOMENAL.

So, feeling bad about not getting to see people was something a little new.  And maybe I’ll get used to it as time drags on, creating less and less opportunities for me to have a purely social life alongside working (which, in the past, was just school–not actual work).

But I do love my work.  I love the learning opportunities and interesting conversations that can pop up.  I love that I can be completely nerdy.

It’s kind of like what I’m doing right now, typing up bloggin’ shit and watching Travel Channel (Anthony Bourdain and Samantha Brown; though not at the same time.  I’m fairly certain that he’s made fun of her on his show before).  But it’s about Asia, so of course I’m there.

Dude.   Dude.  Malaysia.  I’m gone.

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Holidays in the Sun

…but not too much in the sun.  Just enough for Zooey Deschannel to be proud of me and sing along, being adorable and such.

Tomorrow morning, I take out on a flight to Florida to visit my dad for nearly two weeks.  We’ll probably head the beach (Atlantic side, thank goodness), visit some family down there, and meander around the state.  We were thinking of the going to the new Harry Potter park in Universal Studios, but between the 100+ dollar ticket price and the massive lines and waiting times from it being just opened a week, I’m thinking NO.  I’ve spent my fair share gushing over what house I’d be at Hogwarts (Slytherin), wearing my Hogwarts messenger bag, reading the books, and dressing up as Hermione Granger, but I just can’t see myself forking all of that time and money over for a mediocre time.  I told one of my sisters today that I might as well just plan something out with friend for after university, when the lines are shorter and we can plan a multiple day trip down there and stay at a resort.  Personally, that would be much more enjoyable.

But I shall be off and about until the middle of July, so don’t be expecting me too much on Facebook or the like.

On a completely separate note, I gave my first official tour at work yesterday, and it went really well.  I felt like the seven year old artist afterwards saying, “I did such a good job!  Look at what I did!”  Yeah, I was that kid in my head and for the first five minutes after I got back from the tour.  Great day, great group, great conversations about politics and cooking, and great times spent reading National Geographic and sipping lemonade.  Unpaid labour has its upsides.

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