A Year, 2010

Once again, I’ve nearly made it through an entire year.  As such (and to continue the tradition from last year), here are the accomplishments, triumphs, failures, and events that marked my past year.  Feel free to make your own to share!

• I made it through my first year of university at Truman, finishing off with a decent GPA and tons of friends to boot.
• Three and a half inch heels and four inch heels–I made them my bitch.
• I went on an aeroplane by  myself for the first time to visit my dad in Florida for two weeks, where I tried Sashimi for the first time (practically raw tuna with wasabi and pickled ginger), visited Key West and some other nifty beaches, and got massively sunburnt.
• If you caught that part about Sashimi, you’ve probably figured out that I became a pescetarian over the summer.  Half of my just didn’t care any more about avoiding fish while the other half just kept nagging about all of the great omega-3 oils and brain-helping nutrients.  This has allowed me to become pretty damn obsessed with sushi, by the way.
• I started a pretty shitty fashion blog about Midwest fashion.  Now that I have a new camera, I plan on taking more pictures for it, though.
• Which brings me to a creeper moment for this year: I definitely worked up the courage to ask random people to be models for my fashion blog since they were wearing cool outfits.  I’m actually pretty proud of myself for having the guts.
• For a failure, I definitely had a big falling out with someone who had been my friend, leaving us in some kind of acquaintance limbo.  And I’m not too proud about playing dirty and being really bitchy about it, but my life had gotten to a major point where I had to either step up or drop into obscurity, meek and silent as I get walked upon.  You all know I’m not really the type to allow the latter.
• I got a sewing machine!
• And I’ve sewed all kinds of really crappy things; mostly for work.
• Oh!  So, I got a volunteer job down on Main Street, Saint Charles at the First State Capitol State Historic Site in June.  I get to dress up in 1820s clothing, teach people history, give tours, work with kids, all kinds of fun stuff.  After a month and a half of volunteering, I managed to get a position with the Missouri State Youth Corps so that I could get paid for my volunteer work.  It’s been an absolutely amazing experience, and if all goes as planned, I will be working there next summer as well.
• Over October, my dog, Teddy, passed away after a year and a half of massive heart problems.  I had spent the entire summer preparing for him to pass away, which helped me when it actually did happen, but that doesn’t make it any less sad.  You probably already know that he meant a lot to me, but I don’t feel very burdened.  So that’s a start.
• My grandparents are still somehow making it.  My grandma was diagnosed with cancer last year, and she’s finally made the decision to quit treatment and just last these months out.  My grandpa, meanwhile, had a quadruple bypass that didn’t go as well as it could have, though he’s recovering now.
• The rest of the family is decently healthy (or at least in comparison to my grandparents), though there was a lot of tension when my brother was kicked out for his misconducts that he’d been warned for years to cease.  He now lives with my dad in Florida, which seems to be working out better for him.
• This past year, I’ve been building up a second family up in Kirksville (or at least it feels like that).  I signed the lease for a house for next school year with Jess and Noah, which is pretty damn exciting.  And we’re right next door to Ann, Ginny, and James, which means we’ll share a big side yard and have dinner parties.  Huzzah!
• This implies that I’m still friends with everyone up at uni, as well as some new folks.  I also finished up my first semester of sophomore year and started my new studio art minor.  It’s been really neat to see my artwork improve over the semester, and we’ll see how much better it gets by the end of next year.
• I went to Iowa for the first time.  No worries, it was as mundane as the sentence seems to convey.

New Music for this Year (or at least music I was exposed to this year):

• Kate Havnevik’s Melankton
• Emilíana Torrini’s Love in the Time of Science and Fisherman’s Woman
• Kingdom of Heaven Soundtrack
• Loreena McKennitt’s The Book of Secrets and The Visit
• ALL CAPS’ Bmin/E
• Amy MacDonald’s This is the Life
• Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs
• Broken Bells’ Broken Bells
• Coldplay’s Parachutes
• Florence + the Machine’s Lungs
• Fiona Apple’s Extraordinary Machine
• Imogen Heap’s Ellipse
• Joanna Newsom’s Have One on Me
• Joe Purdy’s This American
• Kate Miller-Heidke’s Curioser
• KT Tunstall’s Eye to the Telescope
• Modest Mouse’s Good News for People Who Love Bad News
• Natacha Atlas’s Halim
• Patrick O’Hearn’s Glaciation
• Sigur Ros’s Takk…
• Vampire Weekend’s Contra
• White Lies’ To Lose My Life
• Yael Naim’s Yael Naim

New Books:

• Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Science of Social Influence
• Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451
• Charles Dickens’s Great Expectations
• Dude, I can’t remember the last time I read a new book for pleasure.  Aside from text book reading, I’ve been chilling with the old favourites: Dan Brown’s Digital Fortress, Memoirs of a Geisha, Dragon’s Bait, et cetera.
• But, I’ve gotten into some web comics: Questionable Content and xkcd.

New Films:

• HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS
• Love and Death (a quirky Woody Allen film)
• Troy
• Darjeeling Limited
• The Losers

I really haven’t done all that much this year aside from lots of music listening (shit son, way more than I thought after making that list), working my butt off, chilling with friends every chance I get, and finding some new hobbies (such as interior design/décor, art art art art art, reading webcomics, et cetera).  I’ve learned to love libraries and sushi and appreciate some of the people around me a lot more.  I hope that you all have had an interesting year with lots of learning and events.  Hope to see you all next year!

Missi

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An Update

I need something a little more new and… well, not of Teddy when I happen across my own blog, so this is the obligatory “How are things going?” kind of blog, I guess.  I’ll keep it short (or as short as I’m known for keeping things).

Halloween: Dressed up as Helena Ravenclaw and passed out candy in the lounge–which was decorated at Howarts.  Awesome?  I think yes.

Uni: Stressful, as always.  The amount of reading is what’s really been getting me lately.  Five chapters for an exam in a week.  One novel for this class.  One book about psychology for another.  Statistics exams and psych presentations and art projects.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy them–I do, they’re interesting.  But it’s just a little much, and I’m really at that point in the semester where I just want to sleep for a week straight.

Friends: I got to see Laura and Katie D this weekend when they came into town for the Relient K and Jack’s Mannequin concert.  I’ve also been spending a lot of time with Katie, James, Ann, Jess, Abby, Jenn, Julia, et cetera.  Our house really does feel like a house and not like a bunch of rooms in a dorm.  I’m anticipating seeing some of my friends from back home for Thanksgiving, though.  It will be great to see all of your lovely faces soon!

Family: I’m doing okay with Teddy.  Really.  I mourned a lot for him over the summer when I knew that he was very sick and going to pass away soon, so I was very prepared for his death.  It just didn’t keep it from being completely painless, of course.  Meanwhile, though, my oldest sister is now engaged!  (And it is very exciting, as I approve very, very much.)  This means that both of my sisters are getting married some time in the not so distant future, like maybe both within the next year or something.  I’m looking forward to seeing them and our family!  My brother is currently in the process of moving out and into my dad’s in Florida because of continuous disagreements between Marshall and my mum.  It’s not the best of situations, but that’s another topic of conversation.

Relient K and Jack’s Mannequin concert: It was fun, and I enjoyed hanging out with lots of friends in line and at the show (even if the blistery cold outside did make some joints go out of socket).  Laura, Noah, and I watched most of Jack’s Mannequin perform from the very top of the seating and very far away, but they were excellent seats (much better than the floor) because you could really see everything.  They’re very energetic performers, and I enjoyed watching them, even if I really don’t know all of their music.

Last Friday: Between three hours of sleep, a week of studying and working, the stats exam at 7.30 am directly followed by the social pysch presentation that I had to run to get to in time, and then seeing a kid playing HvZ drop into a massive seizure after falling and hitting his head, I spent a good deal of it crying and then crying some more and then finally giving up and taking a nap.  I felt like a woman possessed.

Anyway, I’m now working on some projects and reading and chilling to a new Arcade Fire album, which is this post’s musical gift.  I hope that you enjoy.

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The cold doesn’t feel as cold.

 

“Everyone’s right, and no one is sorry,
It’s the start and the end of the story,
From the shark and the jets,
And the call in the morning.”

-Nada Surf, See These Bones

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Invincible

Sometimes, I wish that Matthew Bellamy’s voice spoke the truth; that together we’re invincible. But, lately, I find myself more alone than ever. And it’s an odd feeling: loneliness. For starters, I’m of the type to rarely feel lonesomeness. But, the past few months have given me doubt as to whether or not I do feel loneliness, with the winner being that I most likely do feel it.

University has been a major change for me, though I’m adapting quite well when it comes to the basic emotions of the process. My room-mate and I get along very well, my house-mates are all great people that I enjoy spending time with, the food is spectacular, and my classes haven’t been all that bad. Adapting to the intense amounts of reading seemed to be the most difficult, but now I’m finding that there are other things going on in my mind at present. I’m not sure if I’m adapting emotionally enough, though. I don’t miss home. But I miss something. I miss my friends that I left in St. Charles. I miss the Missouri River and sitting beside it. I miss the feeling of the city lying on my doorstep. Kirksville is wonderful, but there’s something not right about it, and I think that it is the same with any university. It’s the fact that our lives are now taking a backseat, and everything focuses on Campus. These few blocks now make up my entire world, and I am not the type to be boxed in. I like existing somewhere large–it’s why I want to move to the city. Suburbs, towns, rural communities, and campuses just aren’t conducive to a happy Missi.

And I’m not sure if my missing something links back to loneliness. I see friends daily, and things work out. I’ve met some cool people, too, just not people to replace friends that I already have. There are a couple friends that I’m missing a lot that I just couldn’t replace. One of them being someone that I just realised I missed today. We were never super close, but friends nonetheless. In fact, I might have been closer to her brother. Still, I realised today that I missed her, and I told her so.

Anyway, though, none of this really makes sense. These are just thoughts that I wanted to relay, and organisation took a backseat. Which, I have to admit, is unusual for me. I’m more of a thinker than a feeler, though that line is getting narrower as time goes by. And maybe I only notice it more than the average person because I’m so in tune with myself. I know myself rather well, and it makes it easy to see the changes.

It probably doesn’t help that I study MBTI, either. But that’s another story.

I think I bring up these thoughts right now because of two things: I am terrified of my psychology exam tomorrow (one that is supposedly extremely difficult and that I have not yet studied for), and my dog is dying. The latter weighing more heavily on my mind. Teddy is the same as a sibling to me, and this is going to be difficult. Within this year, I lost my home, will lose my dog, and will lose my grandmother (who’s dying of cancer). Altogether, things just don’t seem to be going right.

But I’ll keep listening to Muse and sitting outside and trying to breathe. And, within the next few weeks here, maybe I’ll get the new Muse CD. Maybe that will help. Most likely not, though.

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